Anna is feeling better. As in, she has not tossed her stomach in 2 days. This is good, but she's lost weight, which is not good. She didn't have any weight to spare before getting sick. Now she's back to looking thin and frail, and even a little gaunt - like she used to look before going GFCF. Believe it or not, she packed weight on after going on the diet, even without the extra calories that whole milk, butter and cheese provide! (I need to stop calling it a diet - it's not a diet, it's a way of life.)
Working against her right now is the fact that she's obsessing about tossing her stomach. She does not want to eat and re-live that experience. Not that I blame her, it's not pleasant. But DH and I suspect that she's making herself toss her stomach even after getting better, because she's obsessing about getting the "bad food" out of her tummy. We suspect she's done this in the past too. And she's all of 5 years old. Forcing her to eat is not going to work - I don't want to make food a flash point. I'm afraid of what the future portends.
This isn't the only thing she's fixating on lately. She's overly concerned with what foods will "hurt her tummy" or give her "brain fog". I've done my best to explain why we don't eat the foods that some of her friends at school eat. Some food makes us feel bad, other food does not. But even when we go to a "safe house" - to a playmate's house that is also "diet friendly", Anna worries that eating someone else's food (food that does not come from Mommy's Kitchen) is not safe. She's to the point of being rude (although she does not realize it) - "Mommy, I don't want to eat that food! I want to eat my own food!".
I'm not quite sure how to handle all of this yet. I know that fixations come with ASD, I just wish that in Anna's case they were like, trains or astronauts or something, not food. I'm worried that she's not eating enough right now. Hopefully this will pass in a few days and hunger will force more calorie intake. Until then I'm trying my best to make food that is appealing and calorie-laden. Like pudding, which she won't touch. Or omlettes (eh). Or pepperoni, which she's okay with. We have a fairly low-fat diet anymore, especially being dairy free. What else can I do, besides stuff her with bacon? Oy.
The other day I made homemade tortilla chips - extra crunchy, the way she likes them. But she won't touch them, probably because they didn't come in a fancy "chip bag". I need to go grocery shopping for potato chips or something but I've been tethered to the house now that Megan has gotten sick as well. I cannot believe I'm forced to think about ways to fatten up my daughter, like some twisted scene from Hansel and Gretel. DH likes the chips however, which I suppose is something.
*To make homemade tortilla chips, cut leftover tortillas into quarters. Deep fry in small batches until light brown and crispy. Drain on paper towels and sprinkle with salt. To make them lower fat and crisp them in the oven, see this recipe here.