Lately Anna has been complaining of stomach pains. Lately as in, the past several months. I have not been able to figure out the source of the pain as it seems to come and go and she is unable to tell me why her stomach hurts. I've thrown out several options, asking her if she's hungry or if she's had too much to eat, if she's using the bathroom regularly or if she's gassy, if her tummy hurts after she's eaten something specific. I hate introducing an idea into her head because she'll latch onto something even if it's not true. For awhile she was telling me it was gas, but that wasn't it. Her stomach hurts when she wakes up in the morning, she tells me about it on the ride home from school, it hurts before bed - not every day, but randomly and frequently enough to worry me.
So I've gone on the hunt trying to figure it out. We eliminated chewing gum to see if it was the artificial sweetener or the dyes. We've cut back on carbs, nuts and eggs. I had the lab run a stool test to look for yeast, and we just went through another round of blood testing to look for new food intolerances. The yeast test came back negative and I think the blood tests will too, especially since we did blood testing in December and nothing showed up. The next logical step is taking her to the GI doc and having a scope done, and you know how unwilling I am to do that, especially since I'm not convinced a scope will find anything, and I really don't want to put Anna through that trauma unnecessarily.
The other day I mentioned in an email to DH's mom about Anna's stomach pains, telling her how stressed out I am about it. She wrote back and told me that when she was a child, she had stomach pains too because of nerves. She was shy and anxious as a child. And then it clicked - this is Anna's issue. It's anxiety. I've been waiting for this, knowing that girls with Aspergers are prone to depression and anxiety. I thought we would not have to worry about it until Anna hit middle school or puberty. But I was wrong.
Anna has been through a lot in the past several months, but she's been doing so great with all the challenges and transitions. She is a perfectionist but has been able to work with her teachers to complete tasks that frustrate her. She just did an OT re-evaluation and scored well on her tests. She took the move to our new house amazingly well, much better than Megan did. There have been social issues in her class at school, notably bullying, but it didn't seem to effect her - she talked to me about it but didn't express any conflict over it. We've had a parade of people in and out of the new house but she's seemed to enjoy all the visitors. School just ended for the summer and although I could tell she was transitioning and some days were harder than others, she seems to be okay, which is a little surprising. Normally it'd be two weeks of emotional meltdowns, but this year it's only been a few days of upheaval. For months I have been thinking WOW, Anna is doing fantastic! I don't need to worry! We might just swim through the next few years just fine! And my personality is not one to dwell on stuff, I'm always looking forward to the next challenge. So I thought, great! Anna doesn't need as much help as before, she is mastering new challenges on her own!
Oh, how wrong I was. I had no idea that she's been internalizing all of this. She's been swallowing her anxiety and it's manifesting as stomach pain. Now that someone has pointed it out to me, it makes perfect sense.
Now what do I do? I have been absolutely against medication for her from day one. I remember the neurologist looking at me like I had two heads when I told him firmly - no medication. So far it's been fine - speech and occupational therapies have done wonders, her diet has been life-changing, her school is amazing and there was no need for medication. But now? I don't want her crippled by anxiety. I don't want her to be in physical pain because she's internalizing her stress.
Anna sees the pediatrician next month for her yearly check-up. She'll be seven years old. I never wanted to get to the point where my seven year would need medication for depression or anxiety. I thought we had more time. But I was wrong. I've done well with accepting Aspergers and all its quirks, but I'm having a hard time with this. I don't want my daughter to be crippled by fear. I have a month to work with her myself before her visit to the doctor, to try to talk to her and get her to tell me what she's feeling. Maybe she'll find that talking about it will make her feel better. She'll need to accept the anxiety as something normal for her, and then find ways to manage it. I hope I can teach her to recognize what she's feeling and how that makes her body feel. Knowledge is power...but I realize that sometimes genetics are more powerful than reason. I want to help her myself. But if it doesn't work, I will throw in the towel and talk to her doctor about our options.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
The other day I read this post by Gluten Free Goddess with interest and sympathy, but I still did not make the connection between Anna's stress levels and her stomach pain. Sometimes it takes one of the family to hit me over the head with something obvious. Thanks, Hope. :)
So I've gone on the hunt trying to figure it out. We eliminated chewing gum to see if it was the artificial sweetener or the dyes. We've cut back on carbs, nuts and eggs. I had the lab run a stool test to look for yeast, and we just went through another round of blood testing to look for new food intolerances. The yeast test came back negative and I think the blood tests will too, especially since we did blood testing in December and nothing showed up. The next logical step is taking her to the GI doc and having a scope done, and you know how unwilling I am to do that, especially since I'm not convinced a scope will find anything, and I really don't want to put Anna through that trauma unnecessarily.
The other day I mentioned in an email to DH's mom about Anna's stomach pains, telling her how stressed out I am about it. She wrote back and told me that when she was a child, she had stomach pains too because of nerves. She was shy and anxious as a child. And then it clicked - this is Anna's issue. It's anxiety. I've been waiting for this, knowing that girls with Aspergers are prone to depression and anxiety. I thought we would not have to worry about it until Anna hit middle school or puberty. But I was wrong.
Anna has been through a lot in the past several months, but she's been doing so great with all the challenges and transitions. She is a perfectionist but has been able to work with her teachers to complete tasks that frustrate her. She just did an OT re-evaluation and scored well on her tests. She took the move to our new house amazingly well, much better than Megan did. There have been social issues in her class at school, notably bullying, but it didn't seem to effect her - she talked to me about it but didn't express any conflict over it. We've had a parade of people in and out of the new house but she's seemed to enjoy all the visitors. School just ended for the summer and although I could tell she was transitioning and some days were harder than others, she seems to be okay, which is a little surprising. Normally it'd be two weeks of emotional meltdowns, but this year it's only been a few days of upheaval. For months I have been thinking WOW, Anna is doing fantastic! I don't need to worry! We might just swim through the next few years just fine! And my personality is not one to dwell on stuff, I'm always looking forward to the next challenge. So I thought, great! Anna doesn't need as much help as before, she is mastering new challenges on her own!
Oh, how wrong I was. I had no idea that she's been internalizing all of this. She's been swallowing her anxiety and it's manifesting as stomach pain. Now that someone has pointed it out to me, it makes perfect sense.
Now what do I do? I have been absolutely against medication for her from day one. I remember the neurologist looking at me like I had two heads when I told him firmly - no medication. So far it's been fine - speech and occupational therapies have done wonders, her diet has been life-changing, her school is amazing and there was no need for medication. But now? I don't want her crippled by anxiety. I don't want her to be in physical pain because she's internalizing her stress.
Anna sees the pediatrician next month for her yearly check-up. She'll be seven years old. I never wanted to get to the point where my seven year would need medication for depression or anxiety. I thought we had more time. But I was wrong. I've done well with accepting Aspergers and all its quirks, but I'm having a hard time with this. I don't want my daughter to be crippled by fear. I have a month to work with her myself before her visit to the doctor, to try to talk to her and get her to tell me what she's feeling. Maybe she'll find that talking about it will make her feel better. She'll need to accept the anxiety as something normal for her, and then find ways to manage it. I hope I can teach her to recognize what she's feeling and how that makes her body feel. Knowledge is power...but I realize that sometimes genetics are more powerful than reason. I want to help her myself. But if it doesn't work, I will throw in the towel and talk to her doctor about our options.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
The other day I read this post by Gluten Free Goddess with interest and sympathy, but I still did not make the connection between Anna's stress levels and her stomach pain. Sometimes it takes one of the family to hit me over the head with something obvious. Thanks, Hope. :)
11 comments:
I was wondering if learning some breathing teachniques, meditation, etc. might help. I know there are yoga classes for kids that I have heard amazing things about. I take yoga myself, and it has been amazing in simply learning how to breathe -- especially in times of stress. Just some random thoughts that came up in my mind. :-)
Hi Erin,
I'm a celiac with a spectrum-ish 6 yo boy, so you bet I read your wonderful column. I have it on my blogroll.
I, too, internalized stress when I was a kid and got stomachaches. My mom (and our peds) gave me a stomach medicine called Donnatol, which was about 150 proof. That little nip sure cut down on the anxiety! My mom remembers that my cheeks turned rosy after I took it, and I did seem more relaxed. Yikes!
Have you considered some other stress-relieving techniques, perhaps something like yoga or tai chi? I realize she's pretty young, but I know that, even up here in the boondocks, there's a yoga class for kids at one of the local yoga studios, and my son's kung fu academy/dojo offers tai chi for kids, starting at age 5.
Bless her little heart for trying so hard, too.
TK
Awww, the poor darling! I was about her age too when I started getting stomach aches - I had 3 years of really horrible teachers! Anna is so lucky to have you as a mom - and you are right...internalizing emotions really takes a toll, especially on a young girl that does not know the difference. Just a thought, but do your girls know how to swim? It was my only savior in releasing some of the internalized stress. Good luck with finding what works for your little girl, my heart goes out to her and you, Ina
Before you go the rx med route, make sure she's getting sifficient B vitamins and magnesium. Both are usually very compromised (in amount consumed AND absorption) by greatly modified diets. We've discovered this recently with our son who has so many food issues.
The addition of a simple magnesium supplement (we use CALMS powder mixed w.H2o for a lemonad-like drink) has made a significant difference in his ability to sleep as well as reducing ADHD behaviors.
I hope you're able to help your daughter with her anxiety withou the need for meds. But, some children do benefit from them. Wishing you well.
You guys are so great. Thanks so much for commenting. This is why I write the hard stuff.
Jen and TK, I will look into yoga. I used to do it and it helped with stress and migraines. It might help Anna too.
Ina, you know Anna loves the water. I will try to get her in a pool as often as possible this summer.
Niksmom, I am so unwilling to do the RX right now, I will absolutely look into the vitamin route. It would not surprise me at all if there is a vitamin deficiency that needs to be addressed. Thanks for alerting me to that.
Erin,
Have you considered having Anna draw things instead of talking so much? I know that someone once suggested getting a blank notebook and just having me draw in it when I was upset and that way I wasn't confined to lines. I also have some thoughts on yoga if you want to chat later.
Melanie
Hi Melanie,
I can have her try the drawing, that is a good idea. And yes, let's chat about the yoga. Thanks!
I have recently started using lavendar essential oil with my ADHD son for his anxiety and meltdowns with great success. If you try it, make sure you get a Certified Pure Therapeutic Grade to ensure it does what it is supposed to do - I can point you to a source if you need it. I put a couple of drops on his feet in the evening and it even helps in the middle of meltdowns too! Best of luck to you!
Hi Becky, I will give the lavender a try, thanks! I actually just bought some dried lavender and didn't know what to do with it, but now I think I'll put it into a sachet for Anna until I can get some essential oil!
I totally agree with Niksmom on the Magnesium and B Vits. I have terrible anxiety that would make me shake at night and GI problems. I started taking a magnesium supplement that had potassium and calcium in it as well, and a good multivitamin. I swear, it was the most amazing thing I ever did in my life. Anxiety cut in two, and a half a dozen other health problems virtually disappeared. Add in a good stress relief like art, exercise, music, whatever.... and it will do wonders. Good luck! I <3 your blog. thanks for your posts!
Thanks Vicky-Bex-Alex, I appreciate your comment! My girls take a multi-vit plus a Cal-Mag supplement, but maybe I should increase the dose and see what happens. I have a lot to think about, that's for sure.
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