School has been out for a week. Today starts week two of summer vacation. I was busy all last week at school moving my classroom around, cleaning and painting. I kept adding to my long list of things to do at home after I got all my things to do at school crossed off. This weekend I was poised to be busy tackling my home chores and I totally didn't. I slept in and read books in bed instead. I fluffed off my chores in a big way and guess what? I didn't care. This past year has been one long marathon, and I'm tired. I'm going to take a break, thank you very much. I just want to be. I want to be with my children. I want to enjoy their company. Am I going to spend this summer running around like a nut zipping from one activity to the next? Nope, nope, nope. I am going to relax, and breathe. At least for a little while, anyway. I am already thinking about lesson plans and activities for next school year, which is not as far away as it looks. I have been thinking about next school year for at least a month already. In fact, I feel like I have so much to do to get prepared that it's making me feel nauseated. For now, however, I'm putting all that on a shelf, and I will just be.
Besides having an intense desire to read voraciously, I want to be in the kitchen. Yesterday I turned some old, dry carrots into carrot bread. This morning I was trying to make spicy pickled apricots but the apricots disintegrated after simmering for a couple of minutes, and I ended up with spicy apricot infused vinegar instead, which was kind of fun in the end. A friend gave us a few pounds of very ripe peaches, which I turned into peach chutney. I made no bake cookies for the kids. I am about to make sandwich bread, after weeks of sending the girls to school with dosas for lunch. I am happy to be slowing down enough to get reaquainted with my kitchen again. There was just not enough time, energy or interest to do much in the kitchen this past year, which you can see reflected in the lack of blog posts. At first I felt neglectful of this body of recipes I've built for the past 6 years. But a lot of things have changed in 6 years, and I'm ready to let go of some things and ready to embrace others. It's okay. My girls are older, at a different stage in life, and so am I. I'm not as angsty about autism, or adhd, or food allergies and intolerances. As an old boss used to say, it is what it is. I feel myself mellowing in a lot of ways. I had another boss long ago, who I admired immensely. He was smart and kind and full of a fire I could identify with. Over the years as he got older, the fire cooled and he mellowed out. Back then it upset me, I thought he was going soft. Now as I'm getting older, I can see it happening to me, and I recognize its value.
When I started this blog, there were not a whole lot of people baking without gluten and casein. Now there are legion. As I shift my focus to other things, it just does not seem that important to try to keep up anymore. In a way it's sad. In another way, it's liberating. I'm doing something new and creative and that's invigorating. I'll probably pop back in from time to time with little updates or recipes I can't keep to myself. But I expect mostly to be quiet. I expect I'll be in a different way, and I'm looking forward to it.